


No Easy Answers

by mlea7675



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Santos Administration, School Shootings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26380405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlea7675/pseuds/mlea7675
Summary: After the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, Josh and Donna are left reeling, but nothing compares to what will happen to them just fifteen months later-when their own children become victims of gun violence.
Relationships: Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	1. Sandy Hook (December 14, 2012)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Here’s a new story! This one’s going to be a little different-and quite a bit darker-than my previous stories, but I hope you’ll find it good anyway. I hope you enjoy this first chapter, please read and review!

Chapter 1: Sandy Hook (December 14, 2012) 

It was just another day in the Santos White House, eleven days before Christmas and the sixth night of Hanukkah. 

The White House was alight with holiday cheer, but not all of the frenzy was holiday-related. President Matt Santos was preparing to give a speech that evening to an environmental lobbyist group in order to push a new logging bill he hoped to pass prior to the State of the Union. 

“The President is hopeful we can pass this bill through to the 112th Congress and be able to lead off with it at the State of the Union address at the end of January.” Bram was saying to an intrepid group of reporters in the White House Press Corps. 

“Bram!” The reporters clamored. 

“Samantha?” 

“Bram, is the President also prepared to announce his support on 501?” 501 was another environmental bill that had caused much consternation throughout Congress and the White House. 

“The President is considering all his options when it comes to the environment. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s it for now. I’ll have more for you later.” 

Bram walked back to his office, where Sam caught up with him. 

“You’ve got to get them to back off of 501.” 

“I know, I know. 415 needs to be the big focus.” 

“Lou!” Sam called to the Communications Director. “You’ve got the speech?” 

“I’ve got the speech. Either one of you know anything about a shooting out of Connecticut?” It was 9:35. 

“No.” Bram replied. 

“Huh. Maybe it’s just an overzealous source.” 

With that, Sam, Lou and Bram headed back to their offices, unaware of the national tragedy that was about to shake their worlds less than an hour later. 

…  
Annabeth was in her office when it happened. She got a message on her BlackBerry, and her blood immediately ran cold. “Active shooting situation at elementary school in Connecticut”, it read. 

She got up and immediately went to Donna’s office, where she and Helen were meeting about the White House Christmas festivities. She knocked, not waiting for an answer before she entered. 

“There’s another active school shooting.” She announced to the pair. 

“Where?” Helen wanted to know. 

“What high school?” Donna asked. 

“It’s in Connecticut. Um...Newtown.” Annabeth read off her BlackBerry. Suddenly, the words “elementary school” seemed to shoot out at her. “It’s an elementary school.” 

“Wait...an elementary school?” Donna’s face drained of all color. A high school was bad enough, but an elementary school? 

Annabeth could only guess how her friend was feeling: Donna’s twin daughters, Anna and Abby, were only a year shy of entering kindergarten themselves. 

Helen looked horrified. “Where is Newtown?” 

“It’s a little town off of Bridgeport. I’m gonna go talk to Bram, see if he knows anything.” 

Donna sat numbly as Annabeth left. Helen took her Chief of Staff’s hand. 

“Never thought I’d see the day when someone would turn a gun on little kids.” Helen commented. “Makes you want to pick up your kids and never let them go.” 

“Yeah.” was all Donna could say. 

Josh, meanwhile, was in his office reading over a security report when Margaret entered. “Bram’s waiting outside. He needs to see you ASAP.” 

“Yeah, send him in.” 

Bram entered, ashen-faced. “There’s been a shooting at a school in Connecticut. An elementary school.” 

Josh stood stock still. “Did you say-” 

“Yeah. Last body count was 26, including the shooter.” 

Josh thought he was going to throw up. “Any of them kids?” 

Bram could only nod. The sheer tragedy of it was unspeakable. “I’ll have a full report in a few minutes. You should probably tell the President.” 

Josh nodded, walking next door with a heavy weight on his shoulders. “Sir?” 

Matt looked up. “Josh?” He stood up. “Is everything all right?” 

“Sir-” Josh’s voice caught in his throat. The sirens in his head were growing louder with each passing moment. No, he thought. He had to focus. “Sir, approximately twenty minutes ago, shots were fired at an elementary school in Connecticut. 26 are confirmed dead, the shooter included.” 

Matt’s face was unreadable. He came around his desk and leaned against it, putting his head in his hands. He sighed heavily. “How many of them kids?” 

“We’re not sure at the moment-” 

“20.” They turned to see Bram. “20...kids confirmed dead.” 

Matt’s face drained of color. He could barely meet Josh’s eyes. 

His head snapped up. “Get me Helen. Tell her to come over here.” 

Josh nodded. “Yes, sir.” 

Senior Staff had begun to assemble in the Oval Office. 

“How did this happen?” Edie asked as she and Lou walked in. 

“Preliminary police reports say the shooting happened over fifteen minutes. When the cops arrived, the guy shot himself.” Bram responded. 

“Cop-out.” Lou muttered. 

“Lou, please.” Matt said in a warning tone. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. President.” Lou said. “But who does this to little-I can’t even say it!” 

“Bram, you’re gonna have to make a statement.” Josh said, taking control of the room. “Tell them what we know, and that the President will be in contact with local and state law enforcement.” 

“Okay.” Bram nodded, walking out towards the pressroom. 

“I want to make a statement.” Matt said suddenly. 

Edie nodded. “Of course, Mr. President. I’ll have Otto draw something up.” 

“I want to work with him on it.” 

“All right.” Just then, Helen and Donna entered. Matt and Josh looked visibly relieved to see their wives. 

“May we have the room?” Matt asked loudly. The staff dispersed to do what needed to be done. Josh slipped his hand into Donna’s and they walked into the Chief of Staff office. 

As soon as the door shut behind Josh, Matt wrapped his arms around his wife, who was already crying. It wasn’t until she reached up to wipe his eyes that he realized he was crying, too. 

“They were kids, Helen.” Matt said in a barely audible voice, all decorum he usually maintained in the Oval Office gone. “Kids no older than Miranda was when I took office.” 

“I know.” Helen whispered through her own tears. “I know.” 

Next door, a similar scene was happening between Josh and Donna, only their grief was much more concentrated. Donna sat in front of Josh, clutching his hands in a way she hadn’t since she was delivering their children. Josh was staring straight ahead, trying to make sense of the senseless tragedy. Both were crying. 

“Those kids were no older than Anna and Abby, Josh.” Donna said. 

“Yeah.” 

“I just can’t stop myself from thinking, you know, what if-” 

“No.” 

“Josh-” 

“Donna, you can’t do that to yourself.” Josh looked her in the eyes fiercely. “Our kids are still healthy and okay, and that’s all that matters.” 

Donna took one look at Josh and burst into tears. Josh pulled her trembling body into her lap as she continued sobbing-not just for the children who were killed too soon, but for the children whose innocence was now completely shattered. 

… 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.” Bram announced. The press stood as Matt entered, but he waved them back down. He had worked hard on this statement, and he wanted to get it out before he completely broke down. 

“This afternoon, I spoke with the governor of Connecticut, Kim Farrow, and FBI Director Mike Casper, where I made it clear to the Governor that this crime against America’s innocent will be fully investigated, and the families counseled. I am deeply shocked and profoundly saddened by today’s events at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. School shootings have become too much of a common occurrence over the last several years, and yet every time, a little part of my heart is shattered. Because I am a father myself. 

The majority of children killed in this attack-and it was a deliberate attack-were children. Small children between the ages of 5 and 10. They were Little League players, ballerinas, piano players, little brothers and big sisters.” He took a shuddering breath and wiped away a tear. “As a country, we mourn for the souls of those lost in this tragedy-20 children who will never see another birthday, never attend their prom or graduation, never get married or have children of their own. We also mourn for the lives of the six adults who devoted their lives to the children of their community.

Our hearts are broken for the families of the children who were lost-parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters-and for the families of the adults. We are also heartbroken for the surviving children, whose innocence has been forever shattered, and for their parents, who know that words will never be enough to ease their children’s suffering. 

I know that tonight, Helen and I will do what all parents in America will do tonight-hold our kids a little tighter and tell them we love them. But there are families that cannot do that tonight. And the community needs us more than ever tonight. And I promise that as your President, I will do whatever I can to help. 

May God bless the memory of these children, and may we all do what we can to reach out to those in need-those who we know are hurting. Thank you all.” 

The Press’s cameras flashed as the President walked off the podium. 

Meanwhile, the Lymans watched in Josh’s office, grateful they had a President who cared. And then, they heard the best sound they could’ve heard right then. 

“Mommy!” 

Donna turned around to see the twins running towards the open office door. Quickly wiping away her tears, she stood up, kneeling to catch the girls as they crashed against her. 

“I love you guys.” She said quietly. 

“Mommy?” Abby asked, pulling away from her mother to look at her. “What’s wrong?” 

Donna smiled, cupping her cheek. “I just love you three so much.” 

Abby grinned. “I love you too, Mommy.” With that, Abby threw her arms back around her mother. Donna pressed a kiss to her hair, letting her tears surreptitiously drip down her cheek. 

... 

Two days later, the President and First Lady attended a prayer vigil for the victims of the shooting. Josh and Donna accompanied them, and sat with them wordlessly, listening to stories of the children who had lost their lives, of the lives they had led. They listened as Matt spoke to the Newtown community about the power of love and of prayer. He promised the community that they would do something about gun control. It would be a tough road, but one he was willing to face. He ended his speech by reading off the first names of all the children who were killed in the shooting, and saying, “May God bless this community, and may God bless the United States of America.” 

The crowd applauded long and loud. Josh looked over, squeezed Donna’s hand, and whispered to her, “Thank God that’s not us.” 

Little did he know just how wrong he would be.


	2. What Kind Of Day Has It Been? (February 2014)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here’s the next chapter! I’d like to apologize for anybody who was negatively affected by the Sandy Hook chapter-I mainly wanted it to serve as an intro to the main plot of this story. This is a long chapter, but a lot happens. Hope you enjoy, please read and review!

Chapter 2: What Kind Of Day Has It Been? (February 2014) 

Life began to go on after the Sandy Hook shooting. It took some time for Josh and Donna to be able to let the twins out of their sight. The same held true for Sam and Ainsley, and for Matt and Helen. They all had to come to terms with the horror that man had perpetrated on children their children’s age. 

Almost as soon as the shooting happened, Matt got to work on gun legislation. His official statement at the time was, “We cannot, and will not, allow another family to suffer the way those twenty families in Newtown did.”. But the legislation was slow-moving. Slow-moving enough that by February of 2014, they had yet to pass full legislation regarding assault weapons. 

“We need to move on this, Josh!” Matt was saying, standing at his desk. Josh was standing off to the side, letting his boss rant. 

“This is a big move, Mr. President.” Josh tried to explain calmly. “We knew Republicans were going to push back.” 

“They’ve been pushing back for over a year.” 

“Sir-” 

“Josh, this bill-this isn’t just another bill to me. I stood there and listened to you tell me how, in the span of 15 minutes, twenty children no older than your daughters lost their lives. You can’t tell me this bill isn’t at the forefront of your mind.” 

“It is. But, Mr. President-” Josh sighed. The truth was, he wanted nothing more than to see this gun legislation passed. But he had also been around politics to know which battles they were likely to win-and lose.

“I’ve been around politics enough to know when we’re being strung along. The Republicans and the NRA are going to do everything in their power to keep assault weapons on the market. Maybe it’s time we focus on smaller legislation.” 

Matt looked curious. “Smaller legislation?” 

“Waiting periods. Background checks. Things we can control. We’re not gonna get anywhere if we go to the extremes.” Josh pointed out. 

Matt was silent, deep in thought. Then, he spoke. “I guess you’re right.” 

“I know I’m right.” 

He nodded. “Then I guess we better get to work.” 

But as Matt and Josh began discussing ways to lessen the blow on gun legislation, there was another event on the horizon-dating back to another piece of legislation-that would change their lives forever. 

... 

Friday, February 21, 2014 dawned like any other day. 

It was a cold winter’s day in Washington DC. There had just been a blizzard that dumped a foot of snow on the ground, and the kids had been off school for three days. Josh had gone to work, but Donna had gotten permission from Helen to work from home so that she could be home with the kids. Needless to say, neither of the twins were particularly excited about going back to kindergarten after three days at home with their mom and little brother. 

“Mommy, I don’t wanna go to school today!” Anna loudly complained as she ate her cereal. 

“Me neither.” Abby agreed, plopping her book bag by her seat as she finished her PopTart. 

“Girls.” Donna sighed, running a hand through her hair. She had figured it would be difficult getting the kids back into a routine after three days off, but not this difficult. “I have to go to work, and Daddy has to go to work, which means you guys have to do your part and go to school.” 

“But I like being home.” Anna continued to pout. 

“Sweetheart, all vacations have to come to an end sometime.” Donna said, smoothing back her daughter’s hair. “Besides, aren’t you excited to go and see all your friends at school?” 

Anna’s face brightened, and she nodded energetically. 

“Mommy, can you help me with my hair, please?” Abby interrupted them. 

“Of course!” Donna told her. 

“There are my girls.” Josh said, entering the kitchen with three-year-old Matty. “Morning, beautiful.” he told Donna, kissing her. 

“Morning. We should get moving. Is Matty ready?” Donna asked, simultaneously picking up a hairbrush and moving to do Abby’s hair. 

Josh nodded. “We should be ready to get a move on in a couple of minutes. Anna, why don’t you go get your backpack?” he told his younger daughter, gently urging her to stop haggling over her breakfast. Donna finished with Abby’s hair quickly, and then she followed her twin up the stairs. 

As Abby ran off, Donna told him, “They’ve both been a bit petulant about having to go to school today.” 

“Eh, they’ll get over it.” Josh told her, coming up from behind her to wrap his arms around her. “Are you going in today?” 

Donna nodded. “Which means I need to go up and get ready.” she said, kissing him quickly before unentangling herself from Josh’s grasp. 

With that, the Lymans rushed through the remainder of their morning routine, then dropped the girls off at school with their agents before heading into the White House themselves. The twins had barely hugged their parents goodbye, but if Josh and Donna had known what was going to happen that day, they never would’ve let go. 

… 

The morning went well for the West and East Wing. It was time to start the decision of backing a candidate to go up against the presumed Republican nominee Ray Sullivan. The Iowa primary had just happened, and all the candidates in the pool had strong showings. It was anyone’s guess who would get the nomination. 

Josh and Matt were in his office discussing the nominees around 1:20pm. 

“I really like Sheila Fields.” Josh said. “Not necessarily as a person, but as a candidate. I think she could pull a victory over Sullivan.” 

“Fields?” Matt said, intrigued. “She’s running a good campaign, she seems to be a frontrunner, so if you think I should throw some endorsements-” 

BAM! 

The Secret Service charged in and began securing the Oval Office. 

“Oval is secure.” Ron Butterfield barked. “Crash the West Wing.” 

“Crash?” Josh asked. 

“Someone want to tell me what’s going on?” Santos asked, clearly confused and a little agitated. 

… 

In the East Wing, Donna and Helen were just finishing up a meeting when Helen and Donna’s agents both charged in. 

“Ma’am, we need to move you to a secure location. Mrs. Lyman, you too.” 

“What?” Donna asked quizzically before the agents began half-shoving, half-urging the women towards the Residence. 

Once they were safely inside, Donna asked, “Okay, what’s going on?” 

“The West Wing’s crashed, ma’am. We were told we needed to move you and the First Lady to a secure location. That’s all we know.” 

“But what-” 

“Donna.” Helen’s face had gone white as she stared at the TV, which was tuned to CNN. Donna’s eyes followed hers and she began to feel nauseous. 

Straight in front of them was the headline: SHOTS FIRED AT WASHINGTON DEPOT ELEMENTARY: GUNMAN BELIEVED TO STILL BE INSIDE. 

It was Abby and Anna’s elementary school. 

… 

“My-my girls? Are you sure?” Josh asked, his face growing more slack by the minute. 

“We’re not sure of the motive yet. The agents are still trying to track down the shooter.” 

“The gunman’s still in there?” Matt asked, his voice tight. Ron nodded. This was beyond a doubt the toughest situation he had faced since Rosslyn. 

“They should’ve taken him down as soon as they heard the shots!” Josh protested. 

“Sir, under our orders and yours, the agents have kept an extremely wide perimeter to give your kids a sense of normalcy. It is very probable that the shooter slipped past them.” 

“How?!” 

“Concealed weapons are easy to disguise if you know how to do it.” 

Josh closed his eyes and tried to breathe. This was getting worse by the second. 

“How long do we stay in lockdown?” Matt wanted to know. 

“Until the First Children are secure and the shooter’s down.” Ron replied. “We need to make sure this isn’t some conspiracy to use the children to get to the President and Chief of Staff.” 

Just then, Ron’s radio crackled again. “Shooter is down. Marigold is secure.” 

“Copy that. What about Manchester?” 

“Still looking, sir.” 

Josh felt his head spinning. Those were Abby and Anna’s codenames. Anna was safe. Anna’s safe. He had to keep telling himself that. Ron got off the radio and filled them in. The shooter was dead; there were two wounded in Anna’s classroom, but Anna herself had been secured by the Secret Service unharmed; there was still no word on Abby. Ron also reported that the First Children were now in the Residence, unharmed. 

“Is the crash lifted?” Josh asked. 

“Yes.” 

That was all either one of them needed to hear, and they were off and running to the Residence. 

“Donna!” Josh called out as he burst into the sitting room. He saw his wife sitting on the sofa, eyes red from crying. Helen was next to her, holding her hand and trying to comfort her while simultaneously not taking her eyes from the news. The headlines blared: SHOOTER BELIEVED DEAD; SCHOOL BEING EVACUATED. Peter and Miranda were sitting on chairs opposite them, trying not to panic. 

Miranda looked up first. “Dad!” She ran to Matt and threw her arms around him, as Josh rushed to his wife. 

“Hey.” he said, taking one of her hands in his. 

Donna looked at him. He had never seen her look so worried. 

“Anna’s OK.” he told her. He was glad he had good news to tell her. 

“She is?” she asked quietly. Josh nodded as she began to cry with relief. 

She pulled herself together and asked, “Abby? What about-” 

“Josh. Mr. President.” Josh stood up when he saw Ron Butterfield standing at the entrance to the sitting room. 

All four of the adults slowly turned around. Josh was about to ask what the latest was when he saw the expression on Ron’s face. Realization began to dawn on all of them that this was not good news. 

“Abigail’s alive.” Ron began. “But she was found in the kindergarten wing bathroom-with a bullet wound to her right leg.” 

Donna began to sob as she collapsed against Josh’s chest. Josh drew in a breath. This was not happening right now. This happened to other parents, other kids. Not him. Not his little girl. 

Josh fought the Rosslyn flashbacks fighting to overcome him by focusing on what was in front of him. “Where is she? What hospital?” 

“Children’s National. We’re securing it now.” 

“We need to be down there.” Donna spoke up. “We need to be with her.” 

Ron nodded. “There’s a car waiting for you now.” 

Josh and Donna headed towards the door, then Donna stopped in her tracks. “Anna!” 

“Her agent’s bringing her here now.” 

“Okay.” Josh said. “Could you see that she ends up with Sam and Ainsley Seaborn? I want her to be with people she knows.” As much as he didn’t want to put his friends in the position of having to tell his daughter that her twin had been wounded, he also didn’t want Anna to have to be up at the hospital with them while they were so distraught. He didn’t know exactly what her emotional state was at the moment, but if it was anything like his, then… 

“Yes, sir. We’ll speak with Mr. Seaborn.” 

“Josh?” Matt spoke up as they were leaving. Josh turned around. 

“We’ll be praying for you.” Those five simple words and Josh could tell that Matt and Helen were as affected by this news as he and Donna were. 

“Thanks.” Josh said simply as the agents hustled them outside to the waiting car. 

… 

Meanwhile, the West Wing had erupted into chaos. Lou and Bram had gotten the first bits of information during the crash, and now everyone was on the phones, trying to get more information. The knowledge that this was the same elementary school that their boss’ kids went to, and the fact that every news outlet in town had conflicting information, didn’t help the pressure. 

“I need numbers! You got numbers?” Lou was yelling into the phone. “How many dead? How many wounded?” 

“Shooter’s dead, so far three wounded.” Bram told her, coming up alongside her. “Secret Service just confirmed.” 

Lou nodded as the reporter on the other end of the phone, her contact at the scene, gave her very similar information. As Lou hung up the phone, she yelled to Edie, “Edie, call CNN, tell them to get that headline off the air! We have no way of knowing if the kids were targets.” 

Annabeth ran into the West Wing. “What do we know?” 

“Shooter’s dead, three are confirmed injured.” Lou reported. 

“Any of them kids?” 

“Either they’re not sure, or they’re not releasing the information. Either way, I’m not getting a straight answer from anyone.” 

“Guys!” Edie yelled while on the phone with CNN. “MSNBC just reported the shots came out of the kindergarten wing.” 

“Just the kindergarten wing?” Annabeth wanted to know.

Edie shrugged. “That’s what they said.” 

A chill went down Annabeth’s spine. What if the twins were somehow targets? Just the thought of someone wanting to harm her friend’s children made her blood boil. 

“What do you want me to tell the press corps?” Bram asked.  
“Just tell them what we know and that we’ll have more information throughout the day as we get it.” Lou told him. Bram nodded and went to the pressroom. 

“Guys.” said a new voice from behind them. They all turned to see Sam behind them, his face ashen. Ainsley was behind him, also looking like she had been crying. 

“I just got word from Ron Butterfield. Abby Lyman was among the injured.” 

The bullpen went dead silent at this announcement. Lou and Annabeth gasped, Edie went rigid on the phone, and Bram’s jaw dropped, his hands going slack. No one could believe that the sweet five-year-old daughter of Josh and Donna Lyman had been injured in such a violent way at such a young age. 

“Oh, God.” Annabeth muttered. 

“Injured? Not dead?” Bram confirmed. 

Sam nodded. “Josh and Donna are on their way to Children’s National now. Bram, I need for you to keep their name out of this for a while. The last thing either Josh or Donna need right now is for their parents to find out about this on the news.” 

Bram nodded. “Will the President give a statement?” 

“Later tonight, yes.” Sam told him. “I will be staffing the President for the remainder of today.” 

The bullpen had picked up speed again, and Bram headed to the pressroom to give an initial statement. 

Lou instinctively went to her office to watch the briefing, while Sam and Ainsley started to head back to his office. That is, until they heard, “Mr. Seaborn?” 

They whirled around to see an agent carrying Anna Lyman towards them. Her clothes were slightly torn up, and there were bloodstains on her shirt that Sam could only hope weren’t her blood. But more frightening to both of them was the look of terror and shock on her face. She was obviously in a state of shock over whatever it was she had witnessed in that classroom. 

“Um..” The agent was obviously stunned himself. “Mr. Butterfield said I was to hand Annabeth Lyman directly to you or your wife.” 

“I’ll take her.” Ainsley said immediately, reaching out for Anna. Anna had no reaction to the transfer, which scared Ainsley more than anything. Sam began to wonder if this wasn’t just shock. 

“Can I speak with you for a second?” Sam asked the agent, pulling him to the side. “Has she been like that since you secured her?” 

The agent hesitated, then nodded. “I’ve been with the Lyman family since the twins were babies, and I’ve never seen her like this.” 

Sam nodded. He knew that eventually, Josh and Donna would probably need to take her to a child psychologist. But for now, all they could do was support Anna and comfort her tonight, and let her open up in her own time. 

… 

The agents led Josh and Donna to the main reception desk at Children’s National and quickly arranged for the couple to be escorted to a private room to wait. They were quickly informed that their daughter was in emergency surgery for probably another 2-3 hours. As soon as they were secured, Josh decided he needed to call his mom and Donna’s parents and tell them the news before they heard it on TV. All three were unsurprisingly devastated and made immediate arrangements to fly out the next day, in spite of Josh’s assurances that they didn’t all need to be there until they knew what they were dealing with. He also called Toby, Andy, and CJ to tell them, and all were shocked and offered their sympathies. CJ remarked that she had seen the briefing, but hadn’t put two and two together. Finally, he dialed a familiar number in New Hampshire. 

“Bartlet residence.” 

“Dr. Bartlet, it’s Josh.” 

“Josh! How are you? I’ve been seeing the news about the shooting at the DC school. That must be hitting a little close to home, huh? Are you alright?” 

“Um...that’s one way of putting it.” He dreaded having to tell them the news. 

“Josh? Your girls aren’t….involved in all that, are they?” 

“Dr. Bartlet, um, Abby was shot.” 

“Oh, God.” Her voice was tight, obviously upset. “Where?” 

“In the leg. Apparently, it cut an artery, so they wanted to get her into surgery ASAP before we got here.” 

“Yes, of course. Who’s the surgeon?” 

“I don’t know, we haven’t met him yet.” 

“You’ll keep us posted?” 

“Yeah.” Josh told her, just as Ron Butterfield was approaching him. 

“I have to go.” Josh said, flipping his phone shut as Ron said, “Josh, we need to speak with you and Donna.” 

Josh followed Ron back into the waiting room, where Donna was sitting in one of the chairs, staring straight ahead. Josh sat next to her and took her hand. She looked over at him and smiled softly, though not with her eyes. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. 

Ron waited a moment, then began. “We’ve identified the shooter as a lobbyist from a logging committee out in western Maryland. We’ve found belongings on him-a journal-that says that he’s very angry at the Santos Administration for the EPA bill that cost him his job.” 

Josh ran a hand through his hair. He remembered that bill. They had passed it last month at the urging of the EPA-a new resolution controlling the logging industry, cutting logging positions in the Mid-Atlantic in half. 

“It goes on to say that he wanted to hurt the Administration and ‘hurt it bad’. We think that since he couldn’t touch the First Family-“ 

“He’d do the next best thing.” Josh said quietly. 

“So, the girls were targets?” Donna asked, finding her voice. 

Ron nodded. Donna let out a sob she didn’t know she was holding in. Josh squeezed her shoulders. He could barely control the anger he felt inside. How dare someone come after him, threaten his family? 

“I’ll leave you now.” Ron said, standing up. “Agents will be outside.” 

He stepped outside, as Josh’s cell phone rang. Sam was on the phone, wanting to know if they had any more details. Josh kept the conversation brief, promising to call when they knew more about Abby’s condition. Sam also told him that Anna’s teacher and classmate were the other two injured: both were in critical condition. 

“Sam...how’s Anna?” Josh asked anxiously. Donna’s head shot up and leaned in closer. Josh took Sam’s momentary pause to put his phone on speaker. 

Sam took a deep breath before continuing. “Bad. She hasn’t said a word since the agents brought her to the White House. In fact, I think she’s in pretty deep shock, maybe not catatonic, but close. She just sits there, won’t let either one of us let her go.” 

Donna’s heart broke at the description. This was going to be a long road to recovery for all of them, but especially for the girls.

Josh sighed. “Well, tell her we love her and we’ll see her very soon, okay?” 

“Sam,” Donna called out. “Does she know about Abby?” 

“We told her. I think she might’ve already known, though.” 

“Okay,” Donna replied numbly. 

Josh then ended the phone call after Sam and Ainsley offered their prayers and support. They then sat in silence for an hour, waiting for news on their little girl. 

Finally, a voice said, “Mr. and Mrs. Lyman?” A middle-aged doctor wearing scrubs approached them as they stood. “I’m Dr. Kendall, the pediatric orthopedic surgeon who operated on your daughter Abigail.” 

“Abby’s out of surgery?” Josh said as they all shook hands and sat down. 

“Yes. I apologize for not introducing myself before, but forgive my bluntness when I say that there simply wasn’t time for informed consent. Upon arrival, your daughter was very close to bleeding out.” 

“Oh, God.” Donna said. “She’s okay now, though?” 

Josh stammered, then spoke, “Can you tell us what specifically has happened to her and what we should expect?” 

At this, the doctor pulled out a post-op x-ray. “The bullet entered Abigail’s leg here and severed one of the main arteries, causing blood loss. The bullet then lodged into your daughter’s fibula, causing an unstable spiral fracture. We sewed the artery back together and stabilized the bone with a metal rod. Bullet fragments were also lodged into her tibia, those were removed.” 

“What’s the bottom line?” Josh said, still dazed by all the medical terminology. This was all sounding familiar. Way too familiar. 

“Bottom line is that she will recover. It’ll just take time and probably months of physical therapy to regain full function of her leg.” 

Donna nodded. “When can we see her?” 

“Right now, if you’d like.” 

Two minutes later, the agents led the way to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, where Abby was in a private room. They could see the outline of a tiny body covered in white sheets. Tubes were going in and out of her body, recording vitals and delivering blood and fluids. She was hooked up to oxygen, and was unconscious. Josh felt lightheaded as he tried not to look at the large metal brace holding her leg together. 

“She’s sedated for now.” Dr. Kendall explained. “We’ll probably lighten up the sedation in the morning and let her body wake up on its own, but right now her body needs to heal.” 

Both nodded mutely. The doctor stepped out, and Josh and Donna stepped closer to the bed. 

“Abby, it’s Mommy. Can you hear me? Mommy’s here, Abby.” Donna murmured over the noise of the machines, lovingly stroking her cheek. “Daddy’s here, too.” Her voice broke, and tears filled Josh’s eyes as he moved to sit on the other side of Abby’s bed.

“Mommy’s so sorry this happened to you, baby.” she cried, finally letting her emotions out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And there’s the second chapter! Next, I’ll write part 2 of the immediate aftermath. Please let me know what you thought!


	3. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here’s the next chapter! This picks up right where chapter 2 left off. Hope you enjoy, please read and review!

Chapter 3: The Aftermath

The rest of the day passed slowly. There were calls of support throughout the day from the White House, and also keeping Josh abreast of the situation. Meanwhile, Bram was trying incredibly hard to keep a rein on the press, who were clamoring for information. 

“I cannot, and will not, release any information on the shooter at this time. Sheryl?” 

“Bram, can you release any of the names of the victims at this time?” 

“Um…” Bram glanced at the sheet of the paper in his hands. Josh and Donna had given them permission to release Abby’s name to the press, and he also had an additional name-Anna Lyman’s teacher. “Listen up. I am releasing the name of Katrina, K-A-T-R-I-N-A Murphy, a schoolteacher currently residing in Alexandria, Virginia. She is listed in critical condition at George Washington University Hospital with a gunshot wound to the chest. The bullet punctured her lung and damaged her pulmonary artery. I am also releasing the name of Abigail Lyman.” 

At this, the press room went silent. Then, a hand went up. 

“Melanie?” 

“The Chief of Staff’s daughter?” 

“Yes.” Bram confirmed. 

If the volume hadn’t been loud enough before, it was now deafening. 

“Bram! What’s her condition?” 

“Has the President been informed?” 

“What hospital is she in?” 

“HEY!” Bram yelled in an attempt to get control over the rowdy pressroom. “Is this working for you? Now if you'll ask your questions one at a time like, oh, I don't know, every other time we've done this, maybe you'll come away from this with something to write and maybe I'll still be speaking to one or two of you at the end of the day. As far as we know, she is in stable condition at this time at Children’s National Hospital after undergoing surgery to repair a gunshot wound to her leg. The President has been informed, and his thoughts and prayers are with the Lyman family at this time. We respectfully request that you all grant them the privacy that they need to adjust at this critical juncture in her recovery. Justin?” 

“Will the President be giving a statement?” 

“Yes, later this evening. That’s all for now, thank you.” Bram pushed his way out of the briefing room to the shouts and clamoring of the Press Corps, coming face to face with Lou in the hallway. 

“We got the name on another victim.” 

“The third?” 

“Yeah. Five year old kid-Tyler Jeanson.” 

Bram stopped in his tracks. That name sounded familiar. “Is his father-” 

“Utah 2nd. Ted Jeanson.” 

“Is he the guy who brings his family out here every legislative session so he can treat it as a ‘family ministry’?” Lou nodded. “Well, how’s the kid?”

“Shot in the back of the head. Possible brain death.” 

“Poor kid.” 

Edie came walking up. “Any news on Abby?” 

“Still unconscious. Josh said he’d call when there was, you know, news. She’s out of surgery, that’s all we know.” Lou reported. 

“She’s out of surgery?” Annabeth asked, joining the group. 

“Far as we know.” Edie answered. 

“I’ll let the First Lady know. She was waiting for news.” 

Annabeth knocked on Helen’s office door and poked her head in. “Abby’s out of surgery.” 

Helen looked visibly relieved. “How’s she doing?” 

“Still unconscious.” 

“No other details?” 

“Not as far as I know.” 

“Okay. Call me as soon as you know?” 

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll have someone come up to the Residence?” 

“Yes, please.” 

With that, Annabeth left her boss’s office. She had a sudden urge to go over to the hospital and see how Abby was. Walking up to the Pediatric ICU, she got cleared by an agent to enter Abby’s room. 

Tiptoeing in, she was stunned by the pale appearance of the normally-bubbly five-year-old. Not wanting to look at all the tubes, monitors, and blood that the little girl was hooked up to, she focused her attention on the equally pale woman sitting next to the bed, stroking her daughter’s hand. 

“Donna?” she asked quietly, gaining her friend’s attention. 

Donna’s head snapped up, and she smiled softly. “Hey, Annabeth.” 

“The agent let me in. I came over as soon as I could get away. How’s she doing?” 

“She’s...you know.” Donna replied, waving her hand towards the bed. “They’re keeping her sedated for now, so her body can heal.” 

“Makes sense.” Annabeth smiled sadly. “She looks so…” 

“Peaceful? Like she’s asleep? Yeah, I know.” 

Annabeth shifted her weight on her feet. “What’s her prognosis?” 

“Prognosis is...pretty good. They’re hopeful that with physical therapy, she’ll be up and around in a few months.” 

She sighed in relief. “That’s really good to hear.” 

“I know that feeling.” Donna turned her attention back to Abby. 

“Do you want some company?” 

“I’d like that.” Donna replied, gesturing to the chair opposite her on the other side of the bed. With that, Annabeth pulled up a chair, and the pair sat chatting quietly, but mostly just watching Abby as she slept. 

... 

Later that evening, Donna sent Josh back to the house to take care of Anna and Matty while she stayed with Abby. But first, Josh wanted to stop by the White House. 

Josh walked back into the White House shortly before the President was due to make a statement on the shooting. He headed to the Residence, where a Secret Service agent announced his presence. 

“Josh!” Helen said, rushing to greet him with Matt on her heels. “How’s Abby?” 

“Still no change.” Josh answered honestly. “Did anybody fill you in on her injuries?” 

Helen shook her head. 

“The bullet shattered one of the major bones of her right leg, and got lodged in the other one. It’ll still be awhile before we know how the function of her leg will be impacted long-term, but...she’s alive, so that’s what really matters.” 

Matt nodded. “And how are you?” he asked knowingly. Ever since becoming aware of his Chief of Staff’s PTSD diagnosis a few years earlier, he had always kept a lookout for Josh in stressful situations like these. 

Josh sighed. “It’s tough, but...I don’t know.” The truth was, he had been shoving down his own PTSD symptoms all day in order to focus on his daughter. 

“Just...don’t let it simmer, all right?” Matt told him. “Talk to someone if you need to.” 

“Yeah.” Josh replied. 

After finishing up at the Residence and leaving the speech in the capable hands of Lou and Edie, he headed back to the townhouse, where he knew Sam and Ainsley were sitting with the kids. 

He walked in, and was immediately attacked by a small body. 

“Daddy!” Matty cried. 

“Hey, buddy.” Josh said, lifting up his son and kissing him. 

“Josh.” Ainsley said, coming to the foyer. “How’s-” 

“No change.” 

Aisnley’s face softened. “I’m sorry. Donna’s still up there with her?” 

“I think she’s gonna spend the night at the hospital.” Suddenly, there was movement behind Ainsley. Josh peered around to see Anna standing in the doorway. 

“Hey, sweetie.” Josh said, kneeling down to Anna’s level and setting Matty down. 

Anna didn’t say anything, just looking at her father. 

“She hasn’t said anything yet, Josh. I don’t know if she-” 

“Daddy?” Anna whispered. 

Ainsley’s eyes widened. She hadn’t expected her to speak so quickly. 

Anna walked slowly forward and into Josh’s arms. She clung to Josh’s neck. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay, shhh.” Josh said, trying to soothe his younger daughter while also crying in relief that she was all right. “It’s gonna be okay.” Together, they walked into the living room, where Matt was preparing to make his statement on TV. 

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Annabeth had left an hour earlier. The news was on low volume in Abby’s room, but seeing Matt on the screen, Helen next to him, piqued Donna’s interest enough to turn up the volume. 

“We can’t begin to understand why this has happened.” he was saying. “Why children have been harmed due to some man’s anger directed towards our administration, but we can promise that we will pick up the pieces and move forward as a city, as a nation, as a family. Thank you very much. Bram will take questions.” 

He moved offscreen and Bram moved in and began to take questions. Donna was pleased with how Bram was handling all of this, given the personal affront it was to the White House. She had also appreciated Matt’s speech-it was direct and to the point, but full of emotion. 

… 

It was a long night. Later, Donna would estimate that she got less than two hours of sleep total. But, she did fall asleep, as evidenced by the fact that someone was shaking her awake. 

She opened her eyes to meet the warm, caring face of Rachel Lyman. 

“Rachel.” Donna said, relieved to see her. 

“I got here as soon as I could.” Rachel said, embracing the younger woman. “How is she?” 

“Still out of it. I think they said they would lighten up on the sedation this morning, now that her body’s had a chance to heal.” She quickly filled her mother-in-law in on the specifics of Abby’s condition and how long it would take her to recover. 

Rachel nodded sagely. “And how are you?” Donna smiled. Despite her own devastation over her granddaughter being shot, Rachel still worried about those around her. 

“I’m...holding it together. I don’t know how, though.” 

“Did you sleep all right?” 

“Off and on. I think I got about two hours.” 

“And have you eaten?” 

“Not yet.” 

“All right.” Rachel said, having reached a decision. “I am going to go down to the cafeteria and get something to bring back up here. You need to eat something. And after that, I will sit with Abby while you rest.”

“Okay.” Donna agreed. 

After Rachel left, Donna checked the headlines and messages on her phone. She read the latest on the shooting-namely that Katrina Murphy had survived the surgery, but that five-year-old Tyler Jeanson-one of Anna’s classmates-hadn’t survived the night. After shedding a few tears for the family and shooting a condolence email to the Senator’s Chief of Staff, she leaned back against the chair and closed her eyes. Maybe she could get a little-

“Mommy?” 

Donna sat up straight. 

“Mommy?” The voice was weak, breathless, but definitely there. She looked over and saw Abby staring back at her with wide, confused eyes, and felt a few tears of relief escape. 

“Yes, baby, I’m right here. I’m right here, sweetheart.” Donna said, kissing Abby’s forehead. “Everything’s going to be alright.” And for the first time in almost 24 hours, she knew that it would be. 

…

Abby spent most of that day becoming cognizant of her condition and complaining of post-op pain. The doctors worked valiantly to manage her pain. The doctor also rounded to examine her injury, and told Donna that Abby could begin PT in as soon as a week. 

Later that day, as Abby was back asleep, Rachel offered to sit with Abby while Donna went home to shower and change her clothes. Actually, she ordered her to. 

Donna fully intended on going home, but there was someplace she had to go first. After asking around, she quickly got the address she wanted. 

The towncar pulled up to a ranch-style house in a suburban DC neighborhood. Accompanied by her agent, she walked up to the front door and knocked. 

The door was answered by Eliza Jeanson-Tyler’s mother. Donna was shocked to see that she herself answered the door, given that she had just lost her son. 

“Mrs. Jeanson, my name is-” 

“Donna Lyman. We met at the White House last year. Your daughter’s in my son’s class. Or, I should say, was in her class.” 

“Yes.” Donna replied. 

The older woman’s lip quivered. Forgetting about the detail for a moment, Donna put a hand on Eliza’s arm. That did it-she broke down crying.

Donna wrapped up Eliza in a hug, feeling her own body break down into sobs the way she hadn’t since she learned Abby had been shot. 

They sank down on the front stoop, both crying, mother to mother understanding what it was like to see their child get hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you liked this chapter. Next, we’ll start to see the beginnings of the long-term impact of the shooting. Please let me know what you thought!


	4. The First Week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here’s the next chapter! This one covers the first few days after the shooting. I hope you enjoy, please read and review!

Chapter 4: The First Week 

The first week after the shooting passed in a bit of a physical and mental blur for both Josh and Donna. The days seemed to creep on ever so slowly, but when they looked back, they could honestly say they didn’t remember much of that week. 

The day after the shooting, after Donna had gone to the Jeansons to offer her condolences, she returned home for a few hours. Josh was reading to Anna and Matty on the couch, when Donna slipped quietly in the door after the agents let her in. 

“MOMMY!” Anna cried, running over from where she had been curled into Josh’s side and clinging desperately to Donna’s leg. Donna could only imagine what the past 24 hours had been like for her little girl. 

“Oh, my baby.” Donna said, picking Anna up and hugging her close. Tears stemmed from her eyes as she cradled her daughter. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know.” Anna stammered. 

“It’s OK. You don’t have to know how to feel right now.” Donna assured her. Placing a quick kiss on her head, she began to set her down, but Anna said, 

“No, Mommy!” 

Donna stopped. “No, what?” 

“I don’t want you to leave.” 

“Oh, baby, I’m not going anywhere. Come on, let’s sit down on the couch for a few minutes.” She made quick eye contact with Josh, whose expression all but confirmed what she was thinking. 

She settled down onto the couch, Anna still on her lap, and Matty crawled over. “Me too, Mommy.” 

Donna chuckled and ruffled her son’s brown hair, the unruly curls reminding her so much of Josh’s early days in the Bartlet Administration. She planted a kiss in his hair. “There, is that better?” 

Matty nodded, grinning. His excited expression disappeared. “Where’s Abby?” 

Donna’s expressive face fell. She should’ve known that sooner or later, the kids were going to ask about their sister. She just hoped she could explain it in a way that didn’t frighten her other children, but made them understand the severity of the issue. 

“Well...what did Daddy tell you?” Donna asked, making eye contact with Josh. His expression told her that he hadn’t told them anything. Matty and Anna quickly shook their heads. 

“I was waiting for you.” Josh said quietly before she could ask why. 

“Okay. Here’s the thing. Abby was hurt pretty badly yesterday, and she had to have surgery.” 

“What’s surgery?” Matty wanted to know. Anna, who always tried to be a know-it-all in front of her little brother, said nothing. Donna, who had expected Anna to interrupt, looked equally surprised and concerned. 

“Surgery is when the doctor has to fix something in your body that isn’t working right. They have to make an opening and fix whatever’s wrong inside. In Abby’s case, there’s a bone in her leg that was broken, and the doctor had to fix it and make it better.” 

“Is she better?” Anna asked quietly. 

“Not quite. See, when a bone in your body is broken, it can take a long time to heal. Abby will probably need help walking for quite a while. She might even have to be in a wheelchair for a while.” 

“What’s a wheelchair?” Matty asked. 

“It’s something people use to get around when they can’t walk.” Josh explained, speaking up for the first time. He got up and joined his wife and children on the couch. 

“Okay. Can we visit her?” 

Josh looked up at Donna. He knew that the PICU rules prevented children under 8 from coming to visit. “Um...you guys won’t be able to visit her for a while.” 

“Why not?” Both kids asked. 

“Because Abby’s in a very special part of the hospital where the doctors can keep a close eye on her. Kids cannot visit there.” 

Anna’s face crumpled. “But I want to see her!” she protested. 

Realization dawned on Donna that this was more than just missing her twin. Like when Josh had been in surgery after Rosslyn all those years ago, Anna needed to see Abby to know she was alive. Luckily, this was the advent of technology. 

“How about this? When Abby’s feeling a little better, we can call her in the hospital and you can talk to her. How does that sound?” Donna kept her voice light, hoping to dispel Anna’s fears of not seeing her sister again. 

Anna shrugged. “Okay, I guess.” 

“Good.” Donna gave her a kiss. “You know, there is something else you two can both do for Abby.” 

The kids looked at her expectantly. 

“You guys can make her “Get Well” cards. I think she’d really like that. Would you like to do that?” 

“Yeah!” Matty said, excited. He ran up the stairs, presumably to the kids’ playroom. 

“What about you, sweetie?” Donna asked. “Do you want to make a card with your brother?” 

“Maybe later.” Anna decided. “I want to stay with you.” 

“Okay.” Donna agreed. She knew eventually that she would have to leave, and Anna’s anxiety would have to be dealt with. For now, though, she reached for the book on the coffee table. “Do you want me to finish reading to you?” 

Anna nodded wordlessly. Donna opened up Frog and Toad Are Friends and began to read out loud. 

... 

The next few days ticked by slowly. Abby increasingly became more awake and aware, and the doctors had decided that she was ready for physical therapy. They also said that, depending on how the PT went, she could go home as soon as the end of the week. 

Meanwhile, Donna had convinced her parents via phone that they didn’t need to come all the way out to DC, at least not until Abby was out of the hospital and more stable. With Rachel arriving and setting down roots for as long as Abby would be in the hospital, as touching as her parents’ concern was, Donna knew that her parents’ presence would make for one too many people in the already high-stress situation. 

Monday would be Abby’s first day of physical therapy. Josh took off work (at the President’s executive order), and he and Donna were both there to learn about her prognosis. 

“The important thing to remember about kids is that they’re more resilient.” The physical therapist, whose name was Michael, said. The three of them were meeting in a private space just off of Abby’s PICU room. “They bounce back quicker. An injury that takes up to a year to fully heal in an adult can heal in kids in less than half the time.” 

“What will the recovery process look like for Abby?” Josh asked. 

“Well, we’re starting PT today, even though the cast is still on. Once the swelling goes down, we’ll switch her to a flexible leg brace that she’ll be in for at least a few months.” 

“What about mobility?” 

“Obviously, we want her up and around as soon as possible, but with the extent of her injury, the doctors want her to not be moving the leg yet for at least a month. We’ll start her off in a wheelchair, then get her up on crutches hopefully in the next six weeks. After that, it’s anybody’s guess how long the recovery process will take. In some kids it’s longer, in some it’s shorter.” 

“If we’re not supposed to move her leg, how are you going to do PT?” Donna asked, perplexed. 

“We’ll give her and you both some simple range-of-motion exercises that won’t be as taxing with the cast. For now, we’ll just be keeping the blood flow to her ankle and foot in check.” 

“Okay.” Donna said, understanding. “That makes sense.” And it did. 

“When do you think she might be able to come home?” Josh wanted to know. “From your standpoint?” 

“From my standpoint, since she’s going home in a wheelchair anyway, it’s really up to the surgeon. It depends on how she’s healing. Now,” he said, turning to Abby’s doorway. “Shall we get started?” 

Donna nodded, a small smile on her face. “Let’s do it.” 

After her physical therapy was over, Abby was wheeled back to her room. Her injured leg was elevated in order to keep the blood flow going. 

“Okay.” Donna said as they went back into Abby’s room. “You ready to go back to bed, sweetie?” 

Abby nodded, the exhaustion from physical therapy taking a toll on her tiny body. “I’m tired, Mommy.” 

“I can tell.” Donna said, crouching beside the wheelchair and setting the brake. She turned to the nurse. “Are you supposed to transfer her, or should I?” 

“Why don’t you do it?” The nurse suggested. “You’re gonna have to get used to doing it at home.” 

Donna nodded. “Okay, honey.” she said to Abby. “I’m gonna pick you up now, okay?” 

Abby didn’t say anything to the contrary, so Donna put one hand under her daughter’s arms and another under her legs. Josh stood in the doorway, watching and taking it all in. 

“Yep, that’s good.” The nurse said. “Just make sure to brace and support her leg.” 

“All right.” Donna replied. Making sure Abby was secure in her arms, she lifted her straight up and settled her gently on the bed, adjusting the pillows and blankets as needed. “There. Now how does that feel? Are you comfortable?” 

“Yeah.” Abby replied quietly. “Thanks, Mommy.” 

“You’re welcome, baby.” Donna said gently, kissing Abby on the forehead. 

… 

Meanwhile, also during that week, Josh began to notice little things about Anna. Her clinginess was expected after the trauma she had experienced, but what Anna seemed to be going through was more than that. Scarcely a night went by when Anna didn’t want to sleep with Josh, saying that she was scared. 

She also began to develop symptoms of irritability (she would yell at Matty or Josh over the littlest things), loss of appetite, and seemed fidgety a lot of the time. And every time someone around her brought up the shooting-or something that reminded them of it-she would get very upset and run from the room. 

Josh was beginning to recognize what he was seeing. And he didn’t like what he saw. 

He realized he needed to talk to Donna before anybody else. So, on the night before Abby’s scheduled discharge from the hospital, leaving the kids in the capable hands of his mother (even though Anna fought hard for him to stay), he went up to the hospital. 

The agent let him in (the Secret Service had arranged for agents to be posted outside the hospital room as an additional security measure), and Donna looked up. 

“Hey.” She said, her face lighting up. 

“Hey.” Josh replied. 

“Hi, Daddy.” Abby greeted.  
“Hey, baby girl. How are you feeling?” 

“Okay, I guess.” Abby shrugged. 

Josh chuckled and placed a light kiss on her cheek before kissing Donna on the lips. “Can I talk to you outside for a few minutes?” 

“Sure.” Donna agreed. “Abby, I’ll be right back, okay?” 

The pair slipped out into the hallway. “What’s up?” Donna asked. 

“I just wanted to have this discussion away from...you know, little ears.” 

“What’s going on?” She asked, immediately concerned. “Kids OK?” 

“Yeah, they’re fine. Well...Anna may not be fine.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Josh sighed. “I think we need to get her into therapy.” 

She closed her eyes for a second, letting Josh’s words sink in. “You mean-” 

“PTSD.” Josh stated. “All the symptoms are there, we know she witnessed some trauma, so...that has to be what it is.” 

Donna took a breath. She didn’t want to think about her little girl being in pain, but at the same time, she knew that the shooting had caused deep wounds in both girls-and not just physical ones. 

“Should I call around and ask about a child psychologist?” She asked, finding her voice. 

Josh nodded. “It’ll be a long road, but we’ll get her through this. We’ll get them both through this.” 

“How do you know?” 

He gave a wry smile. “‘Cause we’ve been down here before, and we know the way out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you thought!


	5. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here’s the next chapter! I hope you enjoy, please read and review!

Chapter 5: Homecoming

It had been exactly one week since the shooting, and today was a celebratory day for the Lymans. The doctors had cleared Abby to be discharged from the hospital, and while she had a long road ahead given the extent of her injuries, for now she was strong enough to come home, and both Josh and Donna were extraordinarily grateful. 

Josh was filling out the discharge paperwork while Donna was packing the remainder of Abby’s things. Abby was sitting in a wheelchair, her casted leg propped up on a pillow, watching the proceedings. 

Donna looked at her daughter and smiled. “Are you excited to be going home, sweetheart?” 

Abby energetically nodded. “I’m excited to see Anna.” 

“Just Anna? What about everyone else? I know your brother’s missed you.” 

“Them, too. But Anna especially.” Abby said seriously. 

Donna laughed wholeheartedly. Her smile faded slightly as something struck her: this was the first time she had laughed, really laughed, since the previous Friday. 

Abby noticed the change in her mother’s demeanor. “Mommy?” 

She turned back towards Abby and put on a game smile. “I’m okay.” 

Just then, Josh walked back in. “Ready to hit it? Agents are ready for us to go.” 

“I’m ready.” Donna answered. “Are you?” she asked Abby. Again, the little girl nodded. 

Josh took control of Abby’s wheelchair. Flanked by the Secret Service, the trio headed out of Abby’s room and down to the lobby. They all got in the car and headed back to the townhouse. 

The town car approached the house in record time. Donna pulled out Abby’s new wheelchair-a pediatric one that would be hers to use for as long as she needed it. The day before, the physical therapist had had her try out several different wheelchairs until they found the one Abby was most comfortable in. 

Donna unfolded the wheelchair and raised the leg rest so that Abby’s leg would be elevated. 

Josh watched with interest. “Do you need help transferring her?” 

“No, I’ve got it.” Donna replied. She reached into the backseat of the SUV, waving off the agents’ offer of assistance, and lifted Abby out of her car seat, gently lowering her into the wheelchair. 

They headed to the front door of the townhouse, where they quickly realized they had a problem. The front door was up a short flight of stairs, but a flight of stairs nonetheless. 

“Umm...how are we gonna do this?” Donna asked no one in particular. 

“You carry her in, and I’ll grab the wheelchair.” Josh said after a minute. 

“Now, see, this is why I married you.” She deadpanned, a smile on her face. 

“And here I thought you were the only one who had bright ideas?” Josh said, kissing her cheek. 

They were interrupted in their light banter by Abby loudly complaining, “Can we go in now?” 

Donna laughed lightly in a hope to supersede the sadness she was feeling over the challenges her little girl would face. “Of course. Come on, baby.” She scooped Abby up in her arms, being careful of her leg, and carried her up the steps. The door was opened, and Donna carried her inside. 

“Look who’s home!” She announced in what she hoped was a cheery voice. 

Rachel turned around from where she was reading on the couch. “Oh, welcome home, my little angel!” She stood up and was over at Abby’s side in two strides. 

“Hi, Bubbe.” Abby greeted her grandmother happily. Rachel responded by kissing her lightly on the cheek, then doing the same to Donna. 

“How have the other kids been?” Donna asked her mother-in-law. 

“Bouncing off the walls, waiting for Abby to come home.” 

“ABBY!” cried a familiar four-year-old voice. 

“Speak of the devil.” Josh said, catching Matty before he could tackle his mom and sister. “Hey, buddy. Let’s let Mommy put Abby down before you jump them, okay?” 

As soon as Donna had settled Abby on the couch, Matty crawled up onto the couch and hugged her. “Welcome home, Abby.”

All three of the adults “aww’d”. Suddenly, Anna ran in. 

“Is she home? Is she home?” 

“Why don’t you come around and see for yourself?” Donna told her. 

Anna peeked around Donna and saw Abby sitting on the couch, Matty trying to poke at her cast. 

“Matty.” Donna said warningly. “Be careful of your sister’s leg.” 

“Okay, Mommy.” Matty agreed. To his credit, he slid off the couch. As soon as Abby caught sight of her twin, her face lit up. 

“Anna!” 

Suddenly, Anna shrank back, fear in her eyes. “Um...hi.” 

“Sweetie, it’s okay.” Donna said, crouching down to Anna’s level to try and comfort her. “It’s still Abby.” 

Anna’s face screwed up, thinking. “But...but I don’t want to hurt her!” 

“Oh.” Donna replied, suddenly understanding. 

“It’s okay, Anna.” Abby spoke up. “You won’t hurt me.” 

Anna stepped closer. “Can I hug you? I promise I’ll be careful.” She looked to her mother for confirmation, who nodded. 

“Yeah!” Abby responded. And with that, Anna sat on the couch and enveloped her twin sister in a hug. 

Donna watched the reunion wistfully. Tears began to prick at her eyes again, the guilt she felt for what her children were going through pressing at her. It seemed their family had a penchant for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Never mind the fact that her and Josh’s jobs had put her daughters in jeopardy. 

“Hey.” Josh said suddenly, noticing the change in Donna’s demeanor. “You OK, baby?” 

Donna brushed off the sadness and the guilt, again pushing it back down. “Yeah, I’m fine.” she said, assuring those around her. 

Only Josh remained unconvinced. 

… 

The weekend passed, and it was time for the pair of them to return to work. Rachel had left the previous afternoon, after repeated assurances that they had their lives handled. Josh and Donna had both taken the week off after the shooting to help their children, but knew the time had come to return to normal. Well, as new of a normal as they could. 

The school had been closed since the shooting, but things had opened back up. Josh and Donna were hoping that they could convince their daughters to go back without a fight. Abby agreed, but Anna was more of a battle. 

“No, Mommy! I don’t want to go to school!” Anna cried out. 

“You’re gonna have to go back at some point.” Donna tried to reason with her. The truth was, she wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea of sending her children back to the place where their innocence had been torn away. But the Secret Service has increased security measures, and Donna knew her children were as safe as they could be. 

Anna, however, still shook her head. “I don’t wanna go back! You can’t make me!” 

Donna made eye contact with Josh. She knew that this was serious separation anxiety. She knew that they would have to deal with her anxiety at some point, but she also knew from her own experience with PTSD that pushing her wasn’t the best thing right at the moment. Their appointment with the child psychologist was that afternoon, and not a moment too soon. Her daughter was dissolving before her eyes, and she knew there wasn’t anything she could do about it. 

“Please, Mommy.” Anna said, almost begging. “Please don’t make me go back.” 

Perhaps against her better judgment, Donna found herself nodding. “Okay, you don’t have to go back today. You don’t have to go back until you’re ready, all right?” She pulled her daughter into a hug. 

An hour later, the four of them stood in the Northwest Lobby of the White House-not an entrance they usually took, but they wanted to really walk into the White House for the first time since the previous week. Abby was in her wheelchair, having not yet been cleared by the doctor to return to school. Anna held tight to Donna. 

Josh turned to his wife. “You gonna be OK today?” 

“Yeah.” Donna said, nodding. “We’ll be fine, right, Anna?” 

“Right!” Anna parroted. 

“And I’ll see you both this afternoon for Anna’s appointment?” 

“Yep.” Donna leaned in for a kiss. “I love you.” 

“I love you.” Josh grinned. 

Donna, with Anna still on her hip and Abby in her chair, walked into her office. After a few minutes, there was a knock on her door. 

Helen poked her head around. “Hey. I heard you were coming back today.” 

“Yeah.” Donna smiled. “We decided it was time to get back to normal. Well, as normal as possible.” she said, gesturing to her two daughters. 

Helen chuckled slightly. “I can see that. Hi, girls!” 

The girls responded happily but shyly. Donna could tell they were still a little wary about being away from the safe cocoon of their house. 

“So, we have the Women in STEM luncheon next week.” Donna said, glancing at her calendar. “Are you ready for that?” 

“I think so. Can we just go over the schedule really quick?” Helen said, gesturing to her office. Donna could tell that was code for, “I want to talk to you, but we should probably do it aside from the kids.” 

Donna nodded. “Of course.” She assured the kids she would be right next door, then followed Helen into her office. 

As soon as the door was shut, Helen asked, “So how’s it going?” 

“I mean, it’s still...it’s still early. Abby seems to be doing okay mentally, but of course, she’s in pain, and there’s nothing we can do about that. It’s Anna that I’m most worried about.” 

“How so?” 

“Well, she definitely seems to have pretty bad separation anxiety. And between that and the nightmares and the fear...she’s reminding me so much of how Josh was after Rosslyn. And that’s scaring me a little.” 

“Are you taking her to see someone?” 

“Yeah, her first appointment’s this afternoon.” 

“Okay, well, then you’re doing all you can for her.” Donna opened her mouth to speak, then shut it. She knew her boss/friend was right, as usual.  
“I just...can’t help but feel like it’s not enough.” 

“Is it possible that you feel guilty about what happened?”

Donna looked at her. “That obvious, huh?” 

“Oh, Donna.” Helen sighed sympathetically, forgetting their professional demeanor in the office for a brief minute to lay a comforting hand on her arm. “This wasn’t your fault. It was...an act of madmen.” 

Donna chuckled quietly through her tears. “Yes, you’re right about that.” 

“You’ll get her through this. It may take time, but you and Josh will give her all the love and support she needs.” 

She nodded. “You’re right. I just...can’t help but worry.” 

“You’re being a mother. And a wonderful one at that.” Helen assured her. 

“Thanks.” Donna responded gratefully. For not the first time, she was grateful and she and Helen had the relationship that they did. 

... 

Dr. Lindsey Addison, a child psychologist who had been very highly recommended by Abbey Bartlet, was as much of a caring, helpful individual as Josh and Donna expected her to be. She spoke with Anna and her parents at length, learning about her interests and hobbies. She told them she liked to get to know her patients as people first and patients second. 

After over an hour of evaluating her, she called Josh and Donna in to speak with them. Anna played with toys nearby. 

“Well, I can say that she has a pretty textbook case of PTSD, about as severe as I’ve ever seen it.” 

“That’s what I was afraid of.” Donna replied. She hated the fact that her little girl was in so much pain. 

“But here’s the good news-it can be treated. It’ll take time, persistence, and a lot of therapy, but she can overcome this.” 

“Okay.” Josh nodded. “Where do we go from here?” 

“I’d like to set up a list of goals I’d like to work with her on achieving.”  
“Like what?” 

“Getting her over the separation anxiety, for one. I don’t think you should push her into going back to school yet.” 

“Why-” 

“Because it’s where the shooting happened.” Donna said. 

Dr. Addison nodded. “Another goal I would like to work on is getting her to remember the shooting without reliving it. I think, for her, she’s locked the memories of the shooting in a little box in her brain, and we need to work on bringing it back out again.” She paused. “I know that this is a lot, but I really think we can all help her get back to where she was.” 

“You think so?” Donna asked hopefully. 

“I know so.” she responded confidently. 

“Okay.” Donna said, smiling quietly. “Then let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you liked this chapter! Please let me know what you thought!


	6. Guilt and Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here’s the next chapter! I hope you enjoy, please read and review!

Chapter 6: Guilt and Nightmares

Three weeks had passed since the shooting. It was now spring, and it showed outside. The weather for that March was beautifully warm, but things were not as cheery inside the Lyman house. 

Watching Abby and Anna struggle in their vastly different ways in order to overcome the damage the shooting had done to them, was incredibly difficult for both Josh and Donna to watch. Anna had now been in therapy for two weeks (and been homeschooled for a week and a half), and it seemed that little no progress was being made towards the goals that Dr. Addison had set. 

“I don’t understand.” Donna told her one day. “I thought after a couple of weeks, she might start to open up.” It was a Wednesday afternoon, and it was after one of Anna’s sessions. As per usual, Anna had not said a word during the therapy session, other than a few whispered utterances. 

“I’m trying to work on getting her comfortable around me.” Dr. Addison explained. “Right now, the only people she seems comfortable around are you guys. Once she attains that level of comfort with me, then I can start to make headway into helping her overcome her pain.” 

Donna nodded. “I understand it takes time. I just don’t want it to build up like...like my husband.” 

Dr. Addison’s attention was immediately piqued. “What happened to your husband?” During her examination of Anna’s medical history, she had asked if either parent had any pertinent history with their daughter’s illness. This, however, seemed like new information. 

“Fourteen years ago, Josh was shot in the chest during an assassination attempt on the President.” Donna explained quietly. “After a few months, he developed PTSD.” 

“That’s how you recognized the symptoms.” Dr. Addison realized. 

“He tried to ignore it for a while, but it built up inside him. One thing led to another, and one night, he...he put his hand through a window.” 

“You’re not worried that Anna might have inherited her father’s...you know, self-harming-” 

“God, no!” Donna said. “I just worry that it’ll cause some serious psychological damage if she doesn’t open up soon.” 

“That’s a normal concern to have.” Dr. Addison assured her. “But children process trauma differently than adults. We have to let her open up in her timeline, not ours.” 

“Okay. That makes sense.” Donna stood up to leave. “Thank you, I guess I’m just over-anxious for her...for us to get back to normal. Well, a new normal.” 

“I understand.” Dr. Addison told her. “I promise you that I will do everything in my power to get her back to as normal a life as possible. See you next week.” 

“See you next week.” She turned to leave. 

“Wait a minute, Mrs. Lyman?” 

Donna turned around. “Yes?” 

“Has your husband been alright since the shooting?” 

Donna hesitated. She really didn’t know. Josh had spent so much time focused on her and the girls that she really didn’t know how his mental state was. “I-I don’t really know. He seems to be handling things OK.” 

“Well...keep an eye out for him. He might need someone just as badly as your daughter does.” 

“You think?” 

Dr. Addison nodded. 

“All right. I-I’ll try.”

… 

Anna’s therapy wasn’t the only one that was slow-going. Abby was also struggling in the limited physical therapy that she could do with the cast still on. Michael, the physical therapist that had worked with Abby since she was in the hospital, was helping her with her exercises while Donna watched. 

“Okay, Abby.” Michael said. “We’re gonna try five more knee bends, and each time I want you to try to hold it while I count to five. Do you think you can do that?” 

Abby shrugged. “Okay.” 

“Here we go.” Abby gasped as Michael moved her knee up towards her head. No matter how many PT sessions she had had over the last three weeks, the quad strengthening exercises were still what hurt her the most, because it meant putting pressure on her cast. “Now, hold it. Don’t let me let go.” 

And Abby winced in pain as Michael slowly counted. “One...two...three...four...five!” He let go and her leg sprung back out. 

He gave her a break of a couple of seconds, then lifted her leg and said, “Let’s try again.” Then another five seconds, and another five. Finally, he said, “One more time, Abby.” 

“No.” Abby sobbed. “It hurts.” 

At that point, Donna kneeled beside her daughter on the mat. “I know it hurts, and I know you’ve been through a lot today, but you have to do this so your leg will get better.” 

Abby whimpered. “It hurts, Mommy. Why did this have to happen?” 

Donna felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. “I don’t know, sweetheart. But I know that you’re going to get better. Me and Daddy, we’re gonna help you get better. But you have to work at it, too, okay?” 

Finally, Abby nodded. “Okay, Mommy.” she agreed quietly. 

“You ready, Abby?” Michael asked. “Just one more time, and then we’ll move onto something else.” He lifted her knee, and she gasped a little, but stayed quiet. 

“One...two..three...four...five.” Donna counted quietly along with Michael. 

“There. All done with that.” Michael told her. “I know that was tough, but you were really brave.” 

“You’re my brave girl.” Donna murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

“All right. Let’s do something else.” As Michael went to work on her hip muscles, Donna felt a horrible amount of guilt for what her daughters were going through. 

… 

It was a hot day. Donna was walking alongside Andy, laughing. She looked off in the distance as she climbed into the SUV, vaguely aware of Colin taking her picture. Then, she began to realize where she was. Unfortunately, that realization came a split second too late. 

She looked off into the distance, not quite sure of where she was. The flames were coming to get her, she knew it. She began screaming for help, but no one came. Then, she saw Josh and the kids in the distance, crying out for her. And in some impossible way, there was a gun trained on them. 

“Help! ” she screamed until her voice was raw. “Help me!” 

“Donna. Donna, baby, wake up. ” 

She shot up, mid-shriek, gasping for air. Then she remembered where she was. In her bedroom in DC. With Josh. Her three kids were sound asleep just down the hall. 

She could feel her heart going a mile a minute. She turned, her frightened eyes meeting Josh’s concerned ones. 

“Josh.” she sobbed, relieved. She fell into her husband’s embrace, crying her eyes out. 

“Shh. It was just a dream, you’re safe.” 

Her eyes shot open as she remembered more of the dream. “The kids-” 

“The kids are fine. Abby and Matty are in their rooms. Anna’s right down there.” 

Donna peered over the bed to see Anna in her sleeping bag, her permanent spot since the shooting. Anna had not been able to sleep in her own room yet, preferring the safety of her parents. Dr. Addison said that this was just a phase, and that she would teach her coping measures to use so she felt safe and secure sleeping in her own room. 

“I-I couldn’t get out.” She whimpered. Josh wrapped her tight in his embrace. He hated this part of their relationship. They had both been tested by horrific events neither one would ever wish on anyone else. 

“I’m right here.” he soothed. “You’re okay.” 

Her sobs began to subside, and Josh quietly held her as she was able to drift back off to sleep. Then, eventually, he fell back asleep, too.

Just over an hour later, they both were woken by a new round of sobbing. And wailing. It took Donna a minute, as she flew out of bed and crouched down beside a writhing and sobbing Anna to realize that her wails were actually coherent words. 

“No! Don’t hurt her! Please!” 

The reality of these words struck Donna. Whatever had gone on in that classroom, it must have been horrendous. But Donna couldn’t focus on that now. She had to get her little girl out of this nightmare. 

“Anna. Anna, wake up. It’s Mommy.” 

Anna continued to sob. Donna felt her heart shatter. “It’s OK, Mommy’s here.” 

Finally, Anna’s eyes flew open. For half a second, she looked around wildly. Then, her eyes landed on Donna. 

“Mommy.” she cried, new tears spilling down her face. 

Donna immediately picked Anna up, and Anna curled into Donna’s side, still sobbing. 

“Shh. It’s okay, baby. No one’s gonna hurt you, you’re safe now.” Donna felt her own tears slip down her face. 

“Do you want to tell me about your dream?” 

Anna shook her head. 

“Okay. It’s alright if you’re not ready to tell me.” 

“Where’s Abby?” Anna asked in a small voice. 

“Abby’s in your room, honey.” Donna said, confused. 

“And Daddy?” 

“I’m right here, Anna.” Josh said, kneeling onto the floor to join his wife and daughter. 

“I was scared.” Anna said. “I couldn’t find you. The bad man was in Miss Murphy’s room and I couldn’t find you.” 

Donna’s eyes flew up to meet Josh’s. That was the first real information they had gotten out of Anna about the shooting since it happened. 

“It’s all over now.” Donna soothed. “Daddy and I are right here, and we’re not gonna let anything happen to you.” 

“You promise?” Anna asked. 

“Promise.” Josh said, kissing her small hand. 

“Can I sleep with you?” Anna requested in a small voice. 

Donna gave her a soft smile that she hoped would hide most of the heartbreak she was feeling. “Of course, sweetie. Come on.” She stood up, Anna still in her arms, and crawled back into bed, laying on her side so that Anna was sandwiched in between her and Josh. Donna felt a warm hand on her hair, making eye contact with Josh. He gave her a comforting smile, and it was enough to make all three of the Lymans drift back off to sleep once more. 

... 

The next morning, Josh lay awake, watching Donna and Anna in a blissful sleep before their alarm went off. And suddenly, his own guilt began to hit him like a freight train. 

It was his job that put his daughters in jeopardy. It was his fault that his family was suffering. And the fact that the Rosslyn memories peeled away at him each chance he got wasn’t helping anything. 

He slowly came to a decision. He had to get out of his job. It was the only way he could protect his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Slight cliffhanger! Will Josh resign, or will he get the help he needs before it’s too late? Stay tuned, and please let me know what you thought!


	7. Breakthroughs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m wrapping up this story quicker than I thought I would be, so this is the second-to-last chapter. Hope you enjoy, please read and review!

Chapter 7: Breakthroughs

It was a warm Thursday in March when Dr. Addison finally broke through Anna’s memories. In that same week, Josh and Donna’s guilt and problems came to a head. 

It didn’t start out as a bad week. In fact, the beginning of the week showed extra promise for Abby as the doctor was incredibly pleased with the progress of her recovery. 

“Hello.” Dr. Kendall said, greeting Donna and Abby as he entered. “How are we doing today?” 

“Okay.” Abby answered. Donna had noticed that she, thankfully, seemed to have avoided most of the psychological trauma that plagued her sister. 

“And have you had any pain?” 

“Sometimes.” 

“Sometimes?” Abby nodded. Dr. Kendall turned to Donna. “What do you usually give her for pain?” 

“Well, she hasn’t needed the stronger meds they gave her at the hospital for a while, but she does take Tylenol when she needs it. She’s usually pretty good about telling me when she’s in pain.” 

“All right. If Tylenol’s working for her, then we probably don’t need to prescribe her anything else. Now, let’s take a look at these x-rays.” Dr. Kendall said, pinning Abby’s most recent X-rays to a lighted board. 

“Well, Miss Abby, these look really good. I really think we can get that cast off and get you in the brace today. How does that sound?”

Abby gasped and nodded enthusiastically. Donna’s grin was equally wide, but she was also a little worried. 

“It’s only been three weeks. You don’t think it’s too soon?” she asked. 

“No. One thing we’re learning as medicine progresses is that it’s sometimes better to allow the bones to heal naturally through increasing the blood flow, rather than keep it encased in a brick-and-mortar cast for three months.” He explained. 

“Ah.” Donna replied, understanding. “I guess I knew that, I just thought you would want to keep her in the cast for a little while longer.” 

“I understand your concern, but she is actually healing much better and faster than I thought she would. This is a good thing.” 

Donna nodded. “Okay.” She turned to Abby. “What do you think, sweetheart? You ready to get this big cast off?” 

Abby nodded again. “When can I walk again?” 

“Not for a while.” The doctor explained. “This will just allow the physical therapists to work more closely with your legs so your muscles don’t get weaker than they already have.” 

“Oh.” Abby said, trying not to betray that she was disappointed. 

“Now,” he continued. “Let’s call the nurse in and get this cast off, shall we?” 

Twenty minutes later, her large white cast was gone, replaced by a flexible black leg brace. 

“It looks...different.” Donna commented. “I was expecting something a little less...dominating.” 

“I don’t mind.” Abby chirped up. “I can move!” 

To her surprise, Donna laughed aloud. “Just be careful, honey. Don’t overdo it.” 

“Okay.” Abby stilled her leg, and Donna lifted her back into her wheelchair. 

“So, I will see you in two weeks, unless something comes up.” Dr. Kendall said, smiling. “And remember to call the office if she seems to have pain that Tylenol isn’t helping, or if her leg is swollen abnormally.” 

“Thank you!” Donna said gratefully as the doctor left. She grabbed the handles of Abby’s wheelchair and headed out. 

... 

The next day, Abby headed off to school for the first time since the shooting. She was a bit nervous, though not nearly as frightened as her twin, but quickly relaxed when she saw her friends. 

“Hi, Chloe! Hi, Madeline! Hi, Noah!” Abby greeted enthusiastically as Donna wheeled her to her spot. 

“Abby!” All three of the children cried. Donna blinked back tears as Abby’s friends enveloped her from her wheelchair. 

Abby’s teacher, a forty-year-old woman named Miriam Noonan, came over and gave a kiss on the forehead. “Welcome back, Abby. We’re all very happy to see you.” 

“Thank you, Mrs. Noonan.” Abby replied. 

Miriam turned to Donna. “Mrs. Lyman, can we talk outside for a moment?” 

“Sure.” Donna agreed. A woman with thick brown hair in her mid-twenties was waiting by the doorway. Donna also couldn’t help but notice that the Secret Service detail at their school had increased. She didn’t know whether to be unsettled or relieved. 

“Mrs. Lyman, this is Amy Hopkins. She’ll be the aide working with Abby until she get back up on her feet.” 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Amy said warmly, shaking her hand. “I’ll be happy to do whatever Abby needs over the next couple of weeks.” 

“Well, that’s very nice of you.” Donna replied. “Thank you.” 

“I’ll just go introduce myself to her.” Amy decided, bidding farewell to Donna and to Miriam. 

As soon as they were alone, Donna said, “Do you know how Katrina Murphy is?” 

“Apparently she’s still in the hospital.” Miriam said quietly. “But she can have visitors.” 

... 

Two days later, Katrina Murphy was watching TV in her ICU room when there was a knock on her door. 

“Come in.” she said quietly. It was still hard for her to talk, because in order to talk she had to painfully draw in air, but she felt stronger. 

Donna entered. “I don’t know if you know me, but my daughter is in your class.”

Katrina looked blank. Then, realization hit her. ‘You’re Anna’s mom.” At Donna’s surprised look, she added, “We met at Back to School night. It’s kind of hard to forget the kid with a Secret Service detail.” 

“Yes, I suppose it is.” Donna said, laughing a little. She sobered a little. “How are you feeling?” 

“Um...not that great. But they say I’m stronger.” 

“Have you started physical therapy yet?” 

“Yes, actually. They say that I might be able to go home next week.” 

“That’s wonderful!” 

“So...how’s Anna doing?” Katrina had been worried about the little girl ever since she had become aware of what had happened in her classroom. 

“She’s..” Donna hesitated, unsure of how much to divulge. She didn’t want to make Katrina feel worse. But at the same time, she needed to talk to someone. “She’s still pretty fragile, emotionally. We have her working in therapy, and we have seen a little bit of progress, so hopefully a breakthrough happens soon.” 

“That’s good.” Katrina said. “I’ve been worried about her. And her twin sister? How’s she doing?” 

“Slow but sure progress.” Donna reported. 

Katrina smiled softly at this good news, but then sighed. 

“Everything OK?” Donna asked, concerned. “Do you need me to get someone?” 

“No, no.” Katrina said reassuringly. “I just...seeing you just brings back all the thoughts I’ve had since this whole thing started.” 

Donna stayed quiet. 

“Everyone in the media calls me a hero. Everyone in my family thinks I’m a hero. All they see is the teacher that threw herself in front of her students and took a bullet. But I didn’t keep them safe, like I was supposed to. I couldn’t save my kids from witnessing tragedy. I couldn’t save Tyler.” She began to cry. 

Stepping over to the bed, Donna carefully wrapped her arms around the young woman, switching gears from guilty to comforting. After a couple of minutes, she pulled back. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” Donna said firmly. “You did everything you could to protect your students, and...sometimes things just happen.” 

“Yeah. Even with the Secret Service, they weren’t safe.” 

“But you tried your best.” Donna reiterated. 

“Yes, I did.” Katrina said, trying to convince herself as much as Donna. She paused, looking at her student’s mother thoughtfully. “It wasn’t your fault, either.” 

Donna looked taken aback. “How did you know?” 

Katrina laughed, a feat that caused her to wince in pain. Donna was reminded all too well of the struggles Josh had faced after Rosslyn. 

“You think I have a monopoly on pain? I can see the guilt in your eyes. The same guilt I’ve felt for the last month.” 

“It’s different for you.” Donna said. “It really is our fault.” 

“No, it isn’t.” 

“But it was our-” 

“It was your what? It was your jobs that put your kids in jeopardy?” 

Donna nodded. Katrina had hit the nail right on the head. 

“But that wasn’t your fault, either. Even if you and your husbands weren’t Chiefs of Staff, your kids might have still been hit by a car, or shot in a drive-by. This was an act of malice, and of…” 

“Madmen?” Donna asked quietly. 

“Yeah.” Katrina agreed. “It would’ve happened even if you and your husband weren’t in the positions you were in.” 

Donna was quiet for a minute, letting her own tears begin to fall. “You know something?” 

Katrina nodded for her to continue. 

“This is the first time I’ve cried over it since the day it happened.” And then, Donna began to truly sob. Katrina leaned forward as best she could and held Donna as she cried. “It’s OK.” she whispered. “Just let it out.” 

Donna left the hospital that day feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. 

…

Later that afternoon, Anna was in therapy, and Dr. Addison was trying very hard to get Anna to open up. 

“Your mom tells me you had another bad dream last night. Do you want to tell me about it?” 

Anna looked up, and for a second it looked like she might want to open up. But instead, she shook her head. “I can’t.” 

“What do you mean, you can’t?” 

“I can’t tell anyone.” 

“Who told you you can’t tell anyone?” Dr. Addison leaned in closer, sensing they were closer to a breakthrough. 

Anna hesitated again. 

“Anna, look at me.” She looked up, her clear blue eyes meeting the therapist’s. 

“Have I ever told you a lie?” 

Anna shook her head. 

“Then listen to me. No one can hurt you. You’re safe here, and you’re safe with your mom and dad. You can tell me what it was about, and nothing bad’s gonna happen to you.” 

“Do you promise?” she asked quietly. 

Dr. Addison nodded. “Yes, I promise.” 

“Okay.” Anna said. She was silent for a minute, then, before the psychologist’s very eyes, it came pouring out. “The bad man was in my classroom, and I couldn’t find Mommy and Daddy.” 

“What was the bad man doing?” Dr. Addison asked carefully. 

“He had a gun, and he hurt Tyler, a boy at my table. Um...Mommy said he went to heaven.” 

“That’s right, he did. What happened next, Anna?” 

“He…” Anna trailed off. At Dr. Addison’s encouraging glance, she continued. “He had the gun, and he pointed it at me, but someone hurt him.” 

Dr. Addison kept her face neutral, but inside, her heart was breaking for this little girl and what she had gone through. 

“That’s it.” Anna said. 

“Thank you for telling me.” Dr. Addison told her. “How did it make you feel?” Suddenly, she had an idea. Pulling out the “feelings board” they had worked with before, she held it in front of Anna. 

“Anna, can you point to the picture that shows how you felt that day?” 

Anna hesitated, then pointed to the sad and scared faces. “And bad.” 

“You feel bad?” Anna nodded. “Why?” 

“It’s my fault. The man wanted to hurt me. He said.” 

“No, no. It wasn’t your fault. It was that man’s fault. Don’t ever blame yourself for this.” 

Anna nodded, maybe not totally accepting it, but starting to understand. 

Dr. Addison knew that Anna still had a long way to go, but the dam had been broken, and the first steps toward healing had been made. 

… 

Donna and Anna returned home from Anna’s successful therapy appointment to find Josh at the kitchen table, working. 

“Hey, girls.” he said, smiling. Donna could tell, though, that he was not smiling with his eyes. 

Anna was happy to see her father. “Daddy! I had a-a-what did you call it, Mommy?” 

“A breakthrough.” Donna filled in. 

Josh looked surprised and happy. “She did?” 

“Yes, she did. Dr. Addison said she has a long way to go, but she made some progress today.” 

“Wow.” Josh said. “That’s-that’s great.” 

“Mommy, can I go play now?” 

“Of course you can, sweetheart.” Donna said, nodding her assent. Anna ran upstairs, leaving Josh and Donna alone in the kitchen. 

“I can’t tell you how relieved I am.” Donna started to get dinner ready. “I was beginning to worry she would never get better.” 

“Yeah.” Josh said, noticeably detached. 

Donna turned around, noticing something was off. “Honey, are you OK?” 

Josh sighed, running a hand through his hair. He wanted to be honest with his wife, but was afraid of how she would react. “I almost resigned.” 

She turned around in shock. “What?!” 

“I said almost.” 

“What do you mean?” Donna asked, perplexed. 

“Matt wouldn’t accept my resignation.” 

“Okay, fine, but why would you want to resign in the first place?” 

“IT'S MY FAULT!” He exploded. He hadn’t meant to yell at his wife, but the stress had been cooking inside him for longer than he’d realized. 

Donna’s face softened. “Oh, honey.” She walked over to him and touched his cheek. “It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Yeah, it was. It was my job.” 

“And Abby still might’ve gotten hurt even if she wasn’t being directly targeted.” Donna paused to gather her thoughts. “This just happened.” 

“It just happened?” Josh said. 

“It just happened.” Donna repeated, kissing his hand. “There’s no easy answers as to why. And there’s no magic cure. We just have to learn to live with it.” 

Josh nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry if I shut you out.” 

“I’m sorry I shut you out.” Donna admitted. Her face grew serious. “You need help, Josh.” 

“Yeah, that’s what Matt said, too.” 

“You need to call Stanley.” 

Josh looked up. “You think he’ll take my call?” 

“I know he’ll take your call.” She kissed him. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too. More than anything.” Josh said, hugging her close. 

“I’m gonna go check on the girls.” Donna said, excusing herself. Josh paced around the kitchen for a few minutes, then sat down, took out his cellphone, and dialed a familiar number. 

“May I talk to Stanley Keyworth, please?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: They’re all getting help! I’m gonna wrap this story up in the next chapter with Josh’s phone call to Stanley and a quick epilogue. Please let me know what you thought!


	8. Life Goes On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here’s the final chapter! Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed this story. Hope you enjoy this last installment, please read and review!

Chapter 8: Life Goes On

“Stanley Keyworth.” 

“Stanley. This is...um...it’s Josh.” 

“Josh.” The professionalism in Stanley’s voice seemed to grow stronger when he heard Josh’s voice. “It’s been a while.” 

Josh had to laugh. “Yeah, it has.” Josh took the opportunity to close himself in his study. He knew no one would bother him. 

“I gotta say, I was wondering when I was going to hear from you.” 

“You-you were?” 

“Well, considering I’ve heard from quite a few people in your life that are concerned about you, I wondered why I wasn’t hearing from the man himself.”

“Who have you heard from?” Josh asked, genuinely curious. This was the first he had heard of anyone outside of Donna considering calling Stanley to be a first step. 

“Oh, Donna, your friend Sam, President Bartlet, Dr. Bartlet, the President-” 

“Wait. President Santos called you?” 

“Yes. We had a very nice chat. I can’t say I ever thought I would be able to say that I’ve had two sitting Presidents call me.”

“Well, I don’t know what they’ve told you, but-” 

“They’ve told me that you’ve been-well, a little off. Sam even said that it was reminding him of the Christmas after Rosslyn.” 

That was news to Josh. “It was?” 

“Yes. And that scared him and Donna to no end.” There was a pause. “I’ll tell you another reason why I was waiting for you to call.” 

“Why?” 

“Something to do with what happened last month.” 

“A lot of things happened last month.” 

“I think you know what I’m talking about.” 

Josh was silent. “There was a shooting.” 

“That’s right, Josh.” Stanley paused. “What happened on February 21st?” 

“We were trying to find a candidate to endorse for President.” 

“Pardon?” 

“You asked me what was going on that day. One of the things was that we were trying to find a new candidate to endorse for the Presidency.” 

“Because Santos is leaving office?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Handling your job and being a father, that must be pretty difficult to balance.” 

“Not really. President Santos is a family man himself, so he always makes sure we’re out the door early. Unless there’s a Sit Room emergency.” 

“And how many times does that happen, on average?” 

“I don’t really know.” 

“Just a ballpark estimate.” 

“Two, sometimes three days a week.” 

“So, you try to spend time with your children when you can?” 

“Yeah, of course.” 

“You know, I don’t know if you’ve told me how many children you have.” 

“I have three. Twin girls and a boy.” 

“So, hectic job, three children-you must feel like you’re not able to spend that much time with them.” 

“Like I said, President Santos lets us have a pretty flexible-” 

“I didn’t ask what President Santos does to make your lives easier. I asked if you feel like you get to spend enough time with your kids.” 

Josh froze on his end of the phone. The truth was, he didn’t sometimes. Donna always said she understood, but there was a difference between saying she understood and actually understanding. Maybe that was where his guilt was coming from. 

“Josh?” 

“I’m the White House Chief of Staff, Stanley. Of course I don’t get to spend enough time with my kids.” 

“Does that make you feel guilty?” 

“Sometimes.” He admitted. 

“Have you ever thought about quitting?” 

Josh sighed. There was no beating around the bush now. “I almost did.” 

“I know. That’s why President Santos called me.” 

“Really?” 

“He said, ‘Josh must be in a really bad way if he thinks the only way out of this hole is by leaving his job.’ So, I thought I’d better call you. But you beat me to it.” 

“He wouldn’t accept my resignation.” 

“Why would you offer to resign in the first place?” 

“Because-” 

“Because why?” 

“Because it’s my fault.” he muttered. 

“I couldn’t quite hear you.” 

“Because it’s my fault!” 

“What’s your fault?” Josh was quiet. “What was your fault, Josh?” 

“I-I-” 

“You called me, remember, Josh? You had something you needed to talk about. I can’t help you unless you talk about it.” Stanley’s words were met by silence. “So, are we just going to sit here on the phone like this?” 

“She was shot.” 

“Who was shot, Josh?” 

“My daughter.” It was the first time he had spoken those words aloud. “My daughter was shot.” 

“That’s right, Josh. Your daughter was shot.” 

“I’m cursed.” 

“What makes you say that?” 

“Everyone I love gets hurt. Joanie, Dad, Donna, Abby, Anna-” 

“Who’s Joanie?” 

“My sister.” he said. “She died in a house fire when I was 7. I ran out of the house.” 

“And how was that your fault?” 

Josh leaned his head back against the chair he was in. “I didn’t go back for her. I couldn’t-I couldn’t protect her.” 

“We're not talking about your sister, are we, Josh?” 

“I couldn’t protect her.” 

“Josh-” 

“I couldn’t protect-” 

“Josh!” Josh went silent again. “You really think things would’ve been any different if you had been there?” 

“No.” The answer came off the tip of Josh’s tongue so automatically he briefly wondered if it was his subconscious talking. 

“Just like you couldn’t have stopped Donna from getting into a car that was blown up by a bomb.” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re not cursed. Your family may have a bad penchant for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but...you’re not cursed. You’re human.” 

“It was my job. It was my job that made people angry.” 

“Was it you? Was it your kids that made the gunman angry?” 

“No. It was a bill.” 

“A bill. So why didn’t he go after the people that wrote the bill?” 

“Because he blamed the White House. Normal people don’t understand Congress. They just know that the President’s the one that signs the bill.” 

“People get angry, Josh. People get angry, and they look for people to blame. It wasn’t your job, and it certainly wasn’t you.” 

“It wasn’t me?” 

“It wasn’t you. That gunman didn’t understand something that you and I do.” 

“What’s that?” 

“Things just happen. We lose our jobs, people are hurt...they just happen. And there’s no easy answer why.” 

Josh just sat there, taking it all in. “My daughter has PTSD, you know. She saw it all happen.” 

“Is she in therapy?” 

“Yes.” 

“And she’s doing better?” 

“Yeah, she is.” He smiled, remembering her news from earlier. 

“We do get better, Josh.” 

“Thanks, Stanley. I really think this helped.” 

“Just remember, call if you need me, okay?” 

“I will.” 

“Goodbye, Josh.” 

“‘Bye, Stanley.” 

… 

The next four months passed in a blur of therapy appointments, celebrations, and other milestones. 

Josh continued his recovery, never fully letting go of his guilt but letting it go enough to be able to enjoy life and his work again. He went back to the White House, and did his job to the best of his ability. One major change he made, however, was to spend more time at home with his wife and his family. Luckily, President Santos supported his wish to spend more time at home, even though Sit Room interruptions continued to come. The time spent with his daughters reminded him that they would all get better every day. 

Donna’s nightmares grew lesser after a period of time. Her talk with Katrina Murphy had helped tremendously with her guilt, but like Josh, it never completely went away. It did lessen over time, however, and it was a great boost to her spirits to see how well her children were doing in their recovery. 

Abby worked hard in PT, and it began to show. Soon she was out of her wheelchair and up on crutches, mastering the crutches after only a few short days. By July of that year, she was down to one forearm crutch and getting stronger every day. 

Anna’s recovery was taking a bit longer. After her initial breakthrough in March, she began to slowly recover. She still had nightmares, but they were far less often, and she was finally growing back into the outgoing personality she had had before the shooting. She had also been able to return to school in April, after she had learned from Dr. Addison how to deal with her separation anxiety. Her teacher had returned the next month, and it seemed that her entire class was also beginning to heal from what had happened. 

There was now a beautiful plaque dedicated to Tyler just outside the school. It made Donna smile every time she walked past it to pick her girls up. Knowing that the little boy would be remembered made the tragedy of that day seem just a bit more bearable. Tyler’s death also meant the loss of a Congressman-Ted Jeanson had announced in May that he would not seek re-election. Donna didn’t blame the parents for wanting to get out of the city that took the life of their son, and she wished them well. 

Matty never really knew the full extent of what had gone on, but he, too, had affected. He became more attached to Abby than he had before the shooting, and more attached to his parents. It took many reassurances, but he was able to get over his anxiety.   
Now, it was July 5, and for the first time since their birth, their birthday fell on a Saturday. Donna had decided to go all out for their party, given that...well, Donna chose not to dwell on the fact that if it hadn’t been for the very-well-timed intervention of the Secret Service agent, the girls’ birthday might have looked very different this year. 

The party was themed after the girls’ favorite movie, Toy Story. It was one of the few movies they watched over and over again, and all three movies had provided hours of entertainment for Abby when she was laid up in the hospital. 

Donna was in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on their cakes. Rather than just one cake, they had decided to give each girl their own cake this year. Abby’s was a Buzz Lightyear-themed cake, while Anna had asked for Jessie the Cowgirl for hers. Donna had left most of the decorating up to Helen, who wanted to do something for the girls. 

She felt a pair of arms slither around her and looked over her shoulder to see Josh. 

“Hey. Sam got the kids under control?” 

“Are you kidding? Eight screaming kids? He’s got it handled.” 

Donna laughed. “Sure, he does.” 

“So, how are you feeling?” Josh’s hands came to rest on her slightly expanded stomach. Their emotional recovery had received a boost in May of that year when they learned the unexpected, but much welcome, news of Donna’s third pregnancy. The girls and Matty were thrilled to be getting a new baby sibling. 

“Pretty good, actually. Ready to carry these in?” 

“Yeah, I think we’ve tortured the girls long enough.” Josh stopped for a second as he noticed the wistful expression on Donna’s face. “Hey, what’s up?” 

“I just-” Donna cut herself off, then continued. “I just can’t help but think of what things might’ve been like if things had ended differently.” 

Josh smiled, cupping her cheek. “Donna, we have three-well, soon to be four-beautiful, healthy children. And I am so grateful for them each and every day. Do I think about the what-ifs? Of course I do. But then, I just remember that they are here, and they’re better.” 

Donna nodded, wiping away the tears that had begun to trickle down her cheek. “Yeah, you’re right.” She and Josh kissed quickly. “Now, let’s go celebrate our daughters’ birthday.” 

“Let’s do it.” Josh said. Each taking a cake, they carried them into the waiting party. The girls gasped in delight at their beautifully-decorated birthday cakes. 

After lighting the candles (six on each), four-year-old Matty led the singing. 

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, Abby and Anna, happy birthday to you!" 

As the girls eagerly blew out their candles, Josh and Donna watched in awe. 

They were better, they were all better. It had been a long road, and there was still more that lay ahead, but they had made it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And there’s the story! I hope you enjoyed it, even though the subject matter was a bit dark. Next story I write will be happier, I promise. Please let me know what you thought!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: There’s the first chapter! Next, there’s a bit of a time jump. I hope you liked my take on the Santos Administration handling Sandy Hook-I modeled it after Obama’s real-life reaction. Please let me know what you thought!


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